I think about how my selfish needs sometimes take the place of my son’s wants, and a lesson that my head knows suddenly touches my heart, and I feel a desperate need to hold my boy and tell him, “I love you and I will give up everything for you.” I want to be the dad that holds my son’s hand and never lets go Tomoya’s dad had made such horrible mistakes in his life, but he is yet able to sacrifice everything for his son. Through it, we learn that his father loved him so much that he put all of his hope in Tomoya and gave up everything for him. The first time I cried was totally unexpected, since it’s the story of Tomoya’s father – not anything I felt would be particularly emotional. When I rewatched it for this posting, the same scenes made me cry again. As I watched the episode for the first time, I sobbed at several scenes – they kept hitting me like a heavy mallet. Children are a treasure, and the love of a parent for a child cannot be equated to any other earthly thing. We became burdened by sadness and guilt whenever she cried, even when we had be apart from her, as when she went to sleep.īut Ushio, Tomoya’s sweet girl, makes me understand a simple truth every time I watch this episode. She cries a lot, hated being held by daddy (sigh!), and erupted into screaming whenever we left the room. Our second child, a girl, was supposed to be the one who was easy, like all the other babies we’d seen.
The unending love he needed showed how imperfect we were, as we (particularly me) fell short at every turn. We felt as if we were literally dying as we tried to raise a child who hated everything we did and who made life so difficult. My son was born first, and he was very difficult by all accounts. But nonetheless, depression, rage and sadness are all emotions that have become too commonplace in our household the last several years it’s easy to be a good parent when it’s all hypothetical, but when the endless crying hits, life becomes hard. To be sure, the highs have far exceeded the lows, especially as the children age. I have two young ones, and for me and my wife, having children has lead to deep, difficult valleys in our lives. You see, for those of you without children, it’s almost impossible to understand what it’s like to raise a baby. He lets bitterness consume him at the cost of being a father to his daughter. It’s his selfishness that drives them away, as Tomoya can think about only how he has been affected. In the end, his selfishness pushes away two people who love him and are inextricably bonded to him. He blames them for the harsh circumstances of his life. Tomoya easily gives love to those around him, but is sometimes cruel to those closest to him, including his father and his own daughter. I connected deeply with Tomoya’s feelings. Her birth caused his beloved wife’s death, and he became bitter and angry afterward. I should back up a bit – Tomoya doesn’t live with Ushio and doesn’t want to have anything to do with her. In episode 18, Tomoya is tricked into spending time with his daughter Ushio.
Tomoya, in particular, experiences each of these parts of life.
#Clannad movie then after story series#
It’s an unexpected but wonderful place for a series like this to go. Clannad transforms from high school romance to a show about life in the real world, exploring realistic ideas like financial difficulties, sickness, marriage and childbirth, death, and coming to terms with an abusive past (albeit, all in a supernatural way). The power of Clannad is in its continuation, After Story, which takes what was a beautifully animated, but I would say middle-of-the-road Key production, from typical territory to a place few anime series go. I am Tomoya, and although I didn’t lose my Nagisa, I do have an Ushio. There are multitudes of fans for Clannad, but I hold a connection to the story that most American fans (at least right now in their lives) won’t. Beware, this post contains most of the major spoilers for the show, beginning with my final line before the jump: The screencaps below are all courtesy of the Subculture Anime Blog. Inspired to write by Aorii’s recent post, this is my first Diary of an Anime Lived. That said, although I often tear up as shows and movies, I’ve only cried twice – at The Passion of the Christ and during episode 18 of Clannad After Story, entitled “The Ends of the Earth.”Įven as I read a cold synopsis of the episode, I’m getting choked up. Even though I consider myself a realist, I’m very sentimental.
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